


I just wanted to have breakfast, man

by troubleseeker



Series: kinktober 2018 [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Misunderstandings, Watersports, coffee that does not get drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-24 00:38:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16170014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubleseeker/pseuds/troubleseeker
Summary: Kinktober day 2 - Ass Worship | Begging | Medical play |WatersportsDean just wants to enjoy his freshly prepared breakfast in peace, but Castiel has been doing his research and has a request tot make. Hilarity ensues.





	I just wanted to have breakfast, man

“Dean, I wish to expand our sexual relationship.”

The older Winchester froze, mouth still full of coffee as he turned big eyes on his boyfriend. It was too early to deal with this kind of shit. 

Unfortunately, his giant excuse of a little brother had been up and - literally - running for at least an hour now.  

“That sounds interesting, Cas.”

The angel nodded, turning his intense stare on Sam instead.

“I’ve been researching the materials your brother hoards,” Dean debated drooling the mouthful of coffee back into his mug to tell them both to fuck off, because he sure as hell wasn’t swallowing it. “And something caught my eye.”

Oh hell no. He glared at Sam, daring him to continue this trainwreck of a conversation.

“Oh?”

“Yes.” Cas carried on as if this was  _ normal _ . How often did he discuss their relationship with Sam? What did Sam  _ know _ ? “There’s so many different facets to human sexuality.”

“Yeah.” Sam  _ smiled _ . Like he was wistfully remembering several different facets of his  _ own  _ sexuality  _ in front of his brother _ ! “Which one caught your eye?”

No! Nonononono! 

“I wish to try watersports.”

The sudden spray of coffee missed the sink entirely. Instead, a fine mist of the stuff now covered the counter and everything sitting out on it… including the freshly prepared plate of eggs with bacon and the teeny sausages he’d found.

“You’d like to try  _ what _ ?”

“Watersports.” Cas repeated deadpan. Cool as a cucumber; if a confused one. “I don’t understand. Why is Sam laughing?”

The gigantor - useless as usual - howled louder; slapping his leg as it bounced with unbridled happiness.

“What? No. Where did you even find that word?”

Dean was an equal opportunity guy, but no way did any of his stash of - supposed to be secret - skin-mags or internet favorites include  _ watersports _ .

“It was mentioned at the back of Busty Asian Beauties number twenty-five.” Sam hiccoughed, giggles petering off to listen to the pure gold coming from Castiel’s mouth. “So I googled it.”

Dean looked at his boyfriend with uncertainty. 

“Ok. So someone mentioned,” he coughed. “And you looked it up and you think it’s  _ interesting _ ?”

Castiel nodded, unaware of how fast Dean’s heart was sinking. 

“I’m not exactly sure of how it all works. But I’ve never been to a pool before, and it looks really fun.”

Sam fell off his chair, and Dean contemplated just kicking him in the head, but he was too busy being relieved to actually go for it. Clutching at his heart, he took a couple of big mouthfuls of coffee to settle down. Only then did he make his shaky way to a chair so he could set the mug and his adrenaline riddled ass down.

“Wrong kind of watersports, buddy.”

Cas frowned, looking from the shaking Sam shaped lump on the floor to Dean.

“I don’t understand.”

God he was going to have to explain this.

“Watersports means like. When people piss on you and stuff.”

There. Done. dusted. Back to normal safe non-weird reality.

“That seems highly unhygienic. Is that why they put chlorine in the water?”

Sam made a chortling noise from underneath the table, and Dean gave in to the instinct to kick. Sam slapped at his leg in retaliation, but kept on laughing.

“Forget about the pools! This has nothing to do with pools!”

“But google_”

“Different watersports!” What had happened in his life that he was repeating that word so often? “Those are just sports in water. Nothing sexual about it!”

Cas tilted his head the way he always did when humanity’s little quirks were just too odd to comprehend. Dean groaned behind his hands.

“In a general sense.” Deep breath. “In a general sense watersports are just sports in and around water, babe. But in a  _ sexual way _ ,” Cas nodded, listening intently. “It’s when people pee on each other and stuff.” He waved a hand around like that explained things better. “Golden showers.”

Cas nodded, eyes widening in understanding.

“So humans enjoy sexual play with urine.”

“Some humans!” Dean near shot out of his seat. “Some humans do! I don’t!”

Cas smiled serenely, nodding.

“That is good to know. I don’t think it would have appealed much. Though urine is sterile when exiting the human’s body so_”

“I don’t need to know!” Dean interrupted, holding his hands up in surrender. “Please don’t tell me things about pee, dude.”

“If you wish.”

“Oh I wish!”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to come yell at me on [tumblr](http://ryugarika.tumblr.com/) ... feel free to, I can take it.
> 
> Comments feed me!
> 
> Check back tomorrow, for ... edgeplay!!


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